Nuggets of Encouragement

Our little Samuel turned two weeks old last night. It's hard to believe we've only been living this chaos for 15 days. It's even harder to believe that we were also at the lake with several good friends a mere 15 days ago. That seems like another lifetime. In retrospect, this was a very risky move on our part -- heading two hours north...a few weeks before my due date...when I was at risk for preterm labor. Those of you who know Bryan and I know we are not risk-takers at all. We like to play it safe and follow the rules, but for some crazy reason we dared the trip. And considering my labor with Samuel was 3 hours from start to finish, it was a wild decision to make! Thankfully the Lord allowed us to get home and take naps before my labor started. It could have been a terribly close call.

It was a pretty good day at the CICU today. This morning the doctors and nurses switched Samuel off of the oscillator and back to a regular ventilator because there was a build up of fluid in his lungs. It's harder to suction out the fluid on an oscillator, so the excess fluid warranted a change. They started Samuel on 90% oxygen, which is a very high percentage given we all breathe 21% oxygen. However, over the course of the day, they weaned him down to 60%, and he had some of the best blood gases he's had since being admitted. (They take blood gas tests at least once every 4 hours.) His heart rate was elevated all day, and he had some irregular beats, but on the whole he seemed to tolerate the change well. And hopefully this means he can come off of the paralytic tomorrow. It will make a world of difference in my mind to see him be able to move on his own, open his eyes, swallow, etc. It will feel more like my baby is alive than like he's just being sustained by machinery.

The docs also approved doubling Samuel's breastmilk intake. So now he gets 4cc's an hour. It's still not much, but it's something! I think the plan will be to continue increasing his milk intake until he's getting most or all of his nutrition from it. And they took Samuel off one of the heart medications today. He may have to go back on because his heartrate was elevated quite a bit all day, but whenever we see the meds tick down, we feel encouraged. Oh, and Samuel is on viagra! I guess it helps to relax the blood vessels in his lungs so that blood can flow through them more easily. All in all, Samuel had a lot of changes today. You can pray that he handles them all well and is able to continue making forward progress -- wean more off the ventilator (60% is still a lot of support), get more breastmilk, and need less meds to sustain his heart and lungs.

I left the hospital today feeling hopeful and encouraged. Bryan felt a bit encouraged, but he said he feels like he's experiencing "emotional whiplash." A good day is often followed by a bad one. And Mondays seem to be big days for tests, changes, doctor info, etc. So Bryan finds himself bracing for a potentially hard day tomorrow.

This morning we took the family to church and then all headed to the hospital together. The time we get with Caleb and Joel is so important, and they seem to be feeling our absence and heavy-heartedness more and more. Joel was very upset about going to Waumba Land this morning (North Point's preschool program), and he never feels that way. Caleb has been crying a lot and needing me more and more. Last night he came in our room in the middle of the night for the first time ever and asked to climb in bed with us. As I was putting him to bed tonight, I mentioned that he should stay in his bed, and he burst into tears. This whole experience is taking a lot out of him, and Bryan and I can't be everything all three of our boys need us to be right now. The Lord will have to fill in our gaps.

Some of the elders and former elders at North Point prayed over Bryan and I today after our church service. It was again good to hear what others are asking of God on behalf of Samuel. One elder said, "We're going to ask big!" And right now Bryan is downstairs with his men's group praying and beseeching God to heal our son. We're asking big too.

God, thank you for a day of mostly good news. Thank you for praying friends and church members. Thank you that Richard was our nurse again today and for how he serves us and takes such good care of us -- having the chair I always like to sit in waiting and ready, bringing over the table we put our computers on before we even started to look for it, bringing us water, and being gentle with us and Samuel. Thank you for coming home to a house with plenty of food prepared by our friends. Thank you for your tender care of us in this season of such uncertainty and fear. Thank you for all the things I don't even know to thank you for. Thank you.