Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Shells and Souls

After I went to the cemetary with Caleb and Joel last week, and Joel expressed so much confusion about Samuel's body being buried but his soul being in Heaven, I decided to ask Judy, our grief counselor, for some wisdom.  That was a good decision.  She  recommended we use a shelled peanut to help explain it.

So, the next night Bryan and I took Joel to eat at 5 Guys Burgers and Fries because they have bulk peanuts there.  We got one of the peanuts (after Joel has already consumed an inordinate amount of them) and gave it to Joel.  We told him to look at it and asked him if you eat the shell.  He said, "No.  It's yucky."  We explained that the peanut shell is like our bodies.  It's the outside of us, but inside is the really wonderful part, the part that really matters.  We had him break open the shell and look inside and said that the inside of the peanut, the yummy part, is like our souls.  It's the part of us that is precious.  Our soul is the part of us that loves, laughs, grieves, rejoices, and feels.  The shell, our bodies, is what dies.  But it's just the part that covers our peanut, our souls.  Our soul doesn't die.  We put the shell in Joel's hand and said, "This part of Samuel, his body, is what's buried under the dirt in the white box."  Then we put the peanut in his hand, "But this part, Samuel's soul, the really wonderful part of Samuel, is what is in Heaven with God and Jesus."  He seemed to really get it.  When we asked him questions about it, he was able to answer and seemed happy with our explanation.  A few days later I went through it with Caleb too.  He smiled through the explanation and seemed to appreciate the visual demonstration of Samuel's body and soul.

I am grateful for Judy's wisdom and counsel.  I am so thankful for support in this season of our lives.  There are so many things about grief that I don't understand, that I don't know how to approach or explain, and I am thankful for Judy's knowledge and help.  And I am thankful for our church that gives us money to go to counseling.  We are blessed indeed.  Thank you, Jesus, for the care we have as we grieve Samuel and for grieving with us and we miss our baby boy.

8 comments:

  1. What a wonderful explanation for anyone. Still grieving with you and praying for you. Your faith gives me pause - surly our Heavenly Father is honored by it.

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  5. Thanks for this post. I will keep this in my back pocket for the day that my kids start asking. We didn't get that confusion yet b/c Eric was cremated but I know this will come up at some point and now I have a great tool to explain. Thanks and thank you for your honest posts...I appreciate them.

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  6. That is such a neat explanation. It's encouraging to see how much detail God is providing for all of your moments. Thanks for sharing.

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  7. Kathryn- what a sweet, sweet story. I love reading how you guys love your boys so well. The care ministry at NP is indeed a wonderful ministry....so glad that you get to be blessed by it too. Jennifer

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  8. Beautiful description! My husband's grandfather just died and we were trying to explain the idea of how you are a soul and not a body to my 4yo. Someone pointed me to your blog. Thank you for sharing this and for your precious boy.

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