Sunday, February 14, 2010

Missing One of My Valentines

On this Valentine's Day, I wish I had three little boys to be mine.  I miss Samuel so much -- and so much more than words can express.  But I am thoroughly enjoying my two little valentines.  We are making heart cookies today, and this weekend we got to enjoy a snow storm.  And Bryan made some impressive pancakes.

Here is the front of the valentine Joel made for Samuel.  It was all his idea.

Here's the back of the card.  It says, "I love you, Samuel.  I love you.  I wanna sometimes go at Jesus.  I love you.  Love, Joel....I wanna see Samuel sometime.  That means I wanna go to Heaven."

A few days after Joel made his card for Samuel, Caleb asked to make one too.  Here is his:

On the inside he drew a picture of what Samuel will look like when he grows up:

On the back it says, "I love you, Samuel.  I miss you, and I can't wait to see you when I go to Heaven.  Love, Caleb"

And for the fun of it, here are a couple of snow pictures.  Joel is my adventurous child who loves to play and is always moving.  He cried at nap time because he was anxious to get out into the snow.  He had a ball building a snowman with me.

Caleb is my reserved and cautious child.  He decided to enjoy the snow through the sliding door.  And he did.  He laughed and laughed while we threw snowballs at the door.  After about an hour, he decided to go out and play and loved it, but it took him a LONG time to decide he wanted to brave the snow.  My children are so different from each other!  How I wonder what Samuel would have been like.

And while I'm at it, I will include Bryan's pancakes from this weekend.  The boys are on a huge Star Wars kick though they've never seen the movies.  My cousin, Jonathan, loaned us a Star Wars character book, and the boys picked their pancakes from it.  Caleb chose Greedo, who tries to capture Han Solo in A New Hope, and Joel chose Tessek who works for Jabba the Hutt in Return of the Jedi.


Though I am missing my Samuel today, I can see how cared for I've been this weekend.  Bryan was supposed to have class Friday night and most of the day Saturday, but it was cancelled due to the weather, so I got to have my husband home.  And there is something about freshly fallen snow that reminds me of how good God is -- how He renews us, purifies us, gently covers us with His love and grace.  Standing in the snow on Friday, I was able to take some deep breaths -- deeper than I've been able to take in a couple months.  I am grateful for the little ways in which God has cared for me this weekend.  He shows Himself faithful over and over again.


  1. kathryn, so glad i had a chance to see you the other friday night @ church. again, i pray for you guys every day. in my time w/ lucy, there's so much i am reminded of in terms of your missing samuel. he is part of your heart...& you share him w/ all of us when you write about what you, bryan & your precious boys are feeling. i love you guys & thank you again for sharing your journey of love, redemption, grief & healing w/ us here.

  2. Kat - I have seriously started a long rambling email to you at least four different times over the last month - but managed to make it through it - the writing process was inevitably processing. "write kat" is still a top-5 item on my google desktop to do list. Days just pass too quickly right now to get past the first item. So for now, I'll just say thank you again for walking this journey with us here while continuing to walk through the valley of your own. Much love from Haiti. Nap sonje w (We remember you)